It is not easy to forgive …

Photo by Nathan Weithers |

Has someone hurt you over and over again? Even when you were at pains to explain how their actions affected you, did they continue with the same old painful behaviour?  But then what? How do you truly forgive someone who has repeatedly hurt you? And why should you?

When I became a divorce statistic it was super hard for me to forgive. I held on to every harsh word, every intention to cause pain, every unjust accusation, every blow to the gut … for years. During a lull in the fighting I would say: ‘I forgive you” in one breath, and in another scream “I will never ever – did you hear me say never? – forgive you for doing that!”

My first answer in light of the above would be that it is indeed possible to forgive but it happens very slowly! I think it takes time to detoxify yourself and to totally get rid of any negative feelings you may be unconsciously cherishing.  This way, when you forgive, you forgive completely i.e. no recalling and rehashing, no accusing, no swearing, no judging, no hating and no unnecessary shouting.

But what I would also add here is that forgiveness at the end of the day is nothing more than a decision: it’s the day you choose once and for all not to carry that pain or anger or hurt around on your shoulders one minute longer because enough is enough!  And that’s when you move on with your life – a much lighter freer person.

But do you agree? Is it indeed possible to totally forgive someone who keeps on hurting you?  Here are some additional thoughts from TheAnima Series and remember, whatever you decide: the choice is yours and yours alone!


Forgiveness A film by TheAnima Series
A film by TheAnima Series






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Barbadian mother and lover of laughter; story teller and best-selling author; happy to follow God's lead and to live my mantra: "you've gotta be a rainbow in the lives of others when it rains."

2 thoughts on “It is not easy to forgive …”

    1. Forgiveness is indeed very hard – how do you truly wipe the slate clean? Especially in cases of rape, incest or domestic abuse (not to mention murder)? It’s one of the hardest things to do (along with the directive to love your neighbour as yourself)!


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