How hard is hard?

Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis
Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

After a ‘twilight zone with zombie apocalypse potential’ encounter with a very close family member I realised I had to take a step back … like way back. They say actions speak louder than words, and this person’s actions thundered at me between piercing bolts of distrust and disappointment. This was a storm of epic promotions but as I waited for the tsunami that was sure to come, I really wanted to run away and hide my head in the sand, preferring to believe that the current situation was nothing more than a very bad nightmare; I only needed to wake up. Why hadn’t someone pinched me as yet? Because I had a truth and this particular truth had to be faced.

But while in the midst of the family drama it dawned on me that life was still not as hard as it could be.  I do not for example live in a place where I have to fear bombs falling on top of me or destroying my home/my city/my relatives.  I am currently not exposed to the Ebola virus or any other serious life threatening disease.  I have not lost loved ones as a result of a crashed airline.  I am not so poor that I cannot eat or clothe myself and my son.  I can speak out as a woman and pretty much wear what I want, when I want, how I want but best of all, there are people who will support me … just because.

It is normal to spend a lot of energy bemoaning the unfair, unreasonable, terrible things done to us by others; we’ve all done it.  But how much of it is of our making as a result of what I refer to as flawed thinking?  Still not following?  Then take a look at what Marc Chernoff has to say in this article entitled 18 Ways You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be and then let me know if you agree that sometimes we do indeed make our lives harder than they necessarily need to be.

Here is an excerpt with my two biggest take aways which I think are interconnected:

“You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset. Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to let go of a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one? Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it. It helps us appreciate the good times. It helps us grow. If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to them. Reach out for support. Don’t let loss devour you. 

You avoid facing the truth. – The truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored. You cannot find peace by avoiding things. You have to feel it to heal it. Bring your fears and weaknesses front and center and shine a blazing spotlight on them. Because the only way out is through. The pain of facing the truth is SO worth it in the long run, I swear.”  Full article here.

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too. – Will Smith

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.  – Oscar Wilde

Photo by Nathan Weithers |

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Barbadian mother and lover of laughter; story teller and best-selling author; happy to follow God's lead and to live my mantra: "you've gotta be a rainbow in the lives of others when it rains."

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