Black and white beats gray and blurry any day

Photo by Gale E
Photo by Gale E


“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

♥   ♥   ♥

I strongly believe that every day you awake above ground is definitely a good day but some days I am unsettled. I’m unsettled because I find it hard on occasion to balance home and career, and honestly? It’s been totally totally crazy lately.

When I can’t think straight for more than a few days in a row, I know it’s time for a ‘time out’ with God. I didn’t know up from down; there were just too many things happening all at once.  Cup of Chai tea in hand, I took up a comfy position on the couch and quieted my mind. “OK God, I’m here in mind and body.  Lay your stuff on me.”

And you know what? He did, and I ended up having an epiphany of sorts. He made me realise if you don’t ask you don’t receive, and if you don’t knock on a door it won’t be opened. In my case, I know what I want … no, I know what I need – but I’m not talking to my Father in specifics. There’s no black and white, just lots of murky blurred colours merging into one another. I’m not even getting to find a door to knock on, it’s that gray and I’m so lost.

For instance, do I need a car of my own (with insurance and gas bills) or is it really about transportation to and from work? Am I willing to go on struggling day after day without asking for help or encouragement while hoping someone out there somewhere will read my mind and come rescue me? See what I mean? It’s not about a car but about transportation; it’s not about the struggle but about the support.

Anyways, all that thinking took me back to something I wrote all the way in 2013 (love how God reminds me of His words) entitled: “Lord, why is it so hard to ask or seek or knock?” Guess it still applies to some extent to many of us but I’ve decided to revisit the prayer I added at the end of the post; I’m including it here for you too:

Dear God, Please give me the strength to not be afraid. Help me to boldly step out in faith to meet whatever comes my way and to be brave enough to ask or seek or knock so that I may receive, find and have your door opened unto me. Help me to in turn bless others on their journey of life, even as You have blessed me. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Finally, I get to publicly admit and accept I’m only one human being who cannot do it all. In the meantime I encourage you to continue praying, to continue believing and to continue asking. Continue to keep the faith because there’s a door out there waiting for your knock so it can be opened. And lastly, continue to support others as you ensure you are prepared for the awesome blessings God has in store for you – because they are coming!

tall palm trees at Codrington College
Photo by Gale E

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Barbadian mother and lover of laughter; story teller and best-selling author; happy to follow God's lead and to live my mantra: "you've gotta be a rainbow in the lives of others when it rains."

5 thoughts on “Black and white beats gray and blurry any day”

  1. I needed that last paragraph today. I turned down a job offer last week and have one left in the pipeline. I did good at the interview, but I think it’s meant for someone else. At this time, I’m retiring and moving on with my life to other things. But giving up that paycheck when I’m not quite ready for retirement is scary. Every time I start feeling panicky, God is faithful to remind me this will all be okay.


    Liked by 1 person

      1. They went with the other candidate. I’m really not surprised – I don’t think God wanted me back in the workplace. I’ve been sketching out a blog post on it, but haven’t actually done it yet. It’s on the list!

        BTW – I just got the postcard with your address on it. I hadn’t received it when you responded that it was on one of the cards!


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