When Christmas is not a Happy Time


Christmas tree with gifts


Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”
John 11:23-26

“The death of a beloved is an amputation.”
— C. S. Lewis

“Losing people you love affects you. It is buried inside of you and becomes this big, deep hole of ache. It doesn’t magically go away, even when you stop officially mourning.”
— Carrie Jones
♥   ♥   ♥

I am totally paranoid about posting regularly to my blog and keeping in touch. I didn’t think I could go for one day without checking on my stats, seeing who loved my words enough to leave a comment, or agonizing over what I should focus on for my next post. Yet I have struggled to even turn on my laptop since I got ‘the’ call one week ago.

“The” call is the one which confirms the death of a loved one, and this call was the second one in the space of a month which has seen two women in our family losing their husbands.  To say it’s been hard for them is putting it mildly. To say it’s hard to be happy at Christmas without that special someone would be an understatement.

And so, here I am in the republic of Trinidad supporting my cousin as she prepares to bury her husband of 13 years. I have only buried my mom while she on the other hand would have buried a mother, a father (my aunt and uncle respectively) and a mother-in-law all prior to today.  Saddest of all is that she has had three deaths occur just before Christmas i.e. on December 19, 20 and 21 … so many memories and so much pain all at a time when people are being merry and happy.

So far we have worked together on the Order of Service.  I have helped to look for photos of the good times which will be shared with others, been her receptionist, assistant chef, car cleaner and sounding-board. There is so much still to be done: more calls to be made, specific announcements to be coordinated, communication with family members, transportation and accommodation arrangements – I am amazed she is still standing tall and strong.  And then of course there is the future stuff (clothes to be sorted/donated, papers and files to be reviewed, mobile phone and other services to be terminated … does it really ever end?)

As we get ready for the funeral on December 31 my thoughts turn to life vs. death, happy vs. sad, good vs. bad. I can only sum everything up in these words: “do what you can while you can, because you will never know when you can’t.”

Please pray for my family and I as we walk this path together under God’s wings. May He guide us and comfort us, while keeping my blog safe until my return in the new year.  In the meantime I encourage you to go out and be a blessing in someone else’s life – because if not you then who?

Be blessed!

♥   ♥   ♥

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39

“If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I’d walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.”
— Unknown

“Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the unbereaved.”
— Iris Murdoch
”We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world — the company of those who have known suffering.”
— Helen Keller

#love cards, moms, DIY


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Barbadian mother and lover of laughter; story teller and best-selling author; happy to follow God's lead and to live my mantra: "you've gotta be a rainbow in the lives of others when it rains."

5 thoughts on “When Christmas is not a Happy Time”

  1. My condolences to your cousin and family.

    This is almost to much for anyone to deal with in such a short time. It is good that you are there to help her continue to stand tall and handle all the business that is involved with preparing a service.

    My prayers and hugs to you from New Jersey.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Life is for Living Every Day and commented:

    Sometimes we forget that Christmas is not always merry for everyone; we just take the joy of the season for granted and assume merryness is contagious at this time of year. But for some there is a void that is never really filled when they look around the beautifully set table and see the empty space where their loved one would be sitting or listen for the sound of their laughter only to hear silence, or look forward to being enveloped in that warm hug which will no longer happen. I would know.

    Maybe you cannot relate personally but it’s for reasons like these that I am reblogging this post from 2015 as I get ready to visit my cousin in Trinidad two years post the death of her husband.

    We both know I can’t bring him back but I can hug her and laugh with her as we relive the memories of all those lost to us on earth and I am hoping that maybe, just maybe, she will find a reason or two or three to be a little bit merry. Wish me luck 🙂


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