Black or white: why it can matter more to parents

baby nathan


Death CANNOT be the only answer
Don’t think for a moment that because I am so far away from the action I do not feel the pain and frustration of recent events in America. Pulling revolvers and firing bullets on people is not the answer. Killing someone removes the person but how many do you have to kill to get rid of the ‘problem’ … wait a moment, what is the problem being solved here again? Do we even know? And what makes a life matter? Does it depend on whether a person’s skin is black or white, freckled or wrinkled, or something in between.

Across the sea from my little island the pervading impasse between those representing authority (the powerful) and those they have pledged to protect and serve (the powerless) is getting worse and worse. When will it end? When there are no blacks left? When all police officers have been sent on administrative leave? When those officers not on leave are murdered? How many more must be hurt? How many more must be buried? How many more families must cry? Is this merely a numbers game? If so, by what criteria are the winners identified? But wait, honestly, is all of this blood, grief and drama really necessary?

The lives of our sons matter
Tough questions to which I have no answers. So why write this post you may ask. Because although lives matter, as a parent the most important lives are those of our children. Our goal is to protect them from harm, love them with all of our hearts, and then protect them from harm some more. Living in the Caribbean racism tends to be more subtle but we would be silly to pretend it does not exist. As a parent however, I do not have to worry about my (yellow/brown-skinned aka black) son going out at night while wearing a hoodie and possibly being pulled over/subsequently shot by a police officer. Yet I am sure black parents with black sons in America must be going crazy with worry, as can be seen by these heartfelt words shared by a father who is truly fearing for the life of his son. Can you blame him? I certainly can’t. Actually I am quite proud of the way he has bravely voiced his fear by putting it in words so everyone can see exactly where he is coming from. Blogging is indeed a powerful tool!

In the meantime, let’s not scoff at those calling for more prayers for world peace, especially as it relates to racism because some kind of divine intervention is definitely needed right about now to move everyone involved to releasing hate and embracing love.

Excerpt from “Please Remember My Black Son
written by Matt Stauffer [Race, justice, and faith from a random White guy]

Chi is going to be 13. Not today, or tomorrow, or next year. But soon enough, this boy will blossom–awkwardly but beautifully–into a young man. He’s going to be tall. I’m 6’2″, and he’ll likely be close to six foot. But his skin will be darker than mine, his hair curlier. He’ll be raised knowing and loving his African-American heritage and family. What I’m saying is this: I’m a White guy from the suburbs, and my son will be a young Black man. Soon. And I’m scared to death.”  Read more

And before we go:

Do you feel that all lives matter? Well so do I because we have refugees dying to get a better life, students in Africa being abducted, ISIS taking lives all over the world, people dying as a result of famine and disease … and then there’s this article offering a difference between saying something that’s factually true (apologies for the redundancy there) vs. something that’s actually helpful to a cause aka things that make you go hmmmmmm ….

The Problem with Saying ‘All Lives Matter’
There’s a difference between “true” and “helpful.” written by Tyler Huckabee

“By continuing to use “All Lives Matter” to drown out the cry of “Black Lives Matter,” the real problems the movement is trying to address are being ignored.”
“So when you hear the words “Black Lives Matter,” don’t be so quick to assume it’s a judgement about white lives. Instead, see “Black Lives Matter” for what it is: a rallying cry to make a difference and take down the unjust status quo that holds racial equality at bay in America.”
Read the full article

About Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter is a unique contribution that goes beyond extrajudicial killings of Black people by police and vigilantes. It goes beyond the narrow nationalism that can be prevalent within some Black communities, which merely call on Black people to love Black, live Black and buy Black, keeping straight cis Black men in the front of the movement while our sisters, queer and trans and disabled folk take up roles in the background or not at all. Black Lives Matter affirms the lives of Black queer and trans folks, disabled folks,Black-undocumented folks, folks withrecords, women and all Black lives along the gender spectrum. It centers those that have been marginalized within Black liberation movements. It is a tactic to (re)build the Black liberation movement.

Let’s talk!
Is this situation something you feel strongly about? Is there racism in your community or town? As a parent are you concerned about your child/children’s safety even more now? How can we put an end to the unnecessary loss of life? Let’s talk!

#love cards, moms, DIY

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Barbadian mother and lover of laughter; story teller and best-selling author; happy to follow God's lead and to live my mantra: "you've gotta be a rainbow in the lives of others when it rains."

8 thoughts on “Black or white: why it can matter more to parents”

  1. I worry about this for my daughters but especially my son. He has bipolar and as long as he is on his meds the worry is slightly less..I do mean very slight. But if he is off his meds (I pray he stays on his meds) I fear that the cops will just react as they have been shown recently.

    If technology was not so advanced would we even know this is going on?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes let’s talk! I read the linked posts and your heartfelt words. It is too bad the BLM is often misunderstood and has spawned violence in some cases. Do we know where efforts are truly making a difference in laws and procedures? I would like to hear some good news.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well at least the entire world if not most of it is now more aware of these types of situations but killing the officers is not the solution! Thanks for commenting and visiting 🙂


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