She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink | The Huffington Post

Quote by Matthew Fray

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Came across this thought-provoking article on The Huffington Post and found it really interesting, especially being a divorce statistic.  Isn’t it sad how hindsight involves a lot of 20/20 vision that was missing ‘before-sight’? I believe prevention is  better than cure but in some instances it takes two people to actively agree on the prevention steps, and even then there is no guarantee that the curing stage can be averted.

But let me not influence you yet. Read the article and then answer these questions:

  • Do you agree with Matthew Fray’s take here?
  • Was his wife being totally ridiculous aka a nit picker?
  • What do you think about their relationship?
  • Are you divorced? And if yes, was your divorce as a result of a seemingly petty inconsequential ridiculous situation?

Let’s get a conversation started 🙂

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She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink
by Matthew Fray

It seems so unreasonable when you put it that way: My wife left me because sometimes I leave dishes by the sink.

It makes her seem ridiculous; and makes me seem like a victim of unfair expectations.

We like to point fingers at other things to explain why something went wrong, like when Biff Tannen crashed George McFly’s car and spilled beer on his clothes, but it was all George’s fault for not telling him the car had a blind spot.

This bad thing happened because of this, that, and the other thing. Not because of anything I did!

Sometimes I leave used drinking glasses by the kitchen sink, just inches away from the dishwasher.

It isn’t a big deal to me now. It wasn’t a big deal to me when I was married. But it was a big deal to her.

Every time she’d walk into the kitchen and find a drinking glass by the sink, she moved incrementally closer to moving out and ending our marriage. I just didn’t know it yet.”  Read more

In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, ‘Hey, I messed up. This had nothing to do with you. I didn’t understand what marriage was. I cheated. I was wrong. We couldn’t fix it; it got worse. I stepped away because I didn’t want it to get any worse. You’re the mother of my kids – I don’t want to hate you.’ ~ Kevin Hart

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you. ~ Margaret Atwood

Divorce is never a pleasant experience. You look upon it as a failure. But I learned to be a different person once we broke up. Sometimes you learn more from failure than you do from success. ~ Michael Crawford



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Barbadian mother and lover of laughter; story teller and best-selling author; happy to follow God's lead and to live my mantra: "you've gotta be a rainbow in the lives of others when it rains."

7 thoughts on “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink | The Huffington Post”

  1. “It’s not: Sonofabitch, I have to do this bullshit thing for my wife again. It’s: I’m grateful for another opportunity to demonstrate to my wife that she comes first and that I can be counted on to be there for her, and needn’t look elsewhere for happiness and fulfillment.”
    Thanks for this, Gale. My opinion will probably be unpopular with many, and I’m ok with that. But, while I absolutely understand the writer’s point, I would like to know his ex-wife’s opinion on the article. I love the heart I see in the above quote. I also read a post not long ago about a wife who HATED picking up her husband’s dirty socks, and felt hurt that he didn’t pick them up himself, for all the reasons discussed in your post…until he died, and she realized that she would love the opportunity to pick up his dirty socks again.
    I believe we need to serve our spouse. We should LOVE – an act – every day. If not, if all we are doing is being driven crazy by the little things – did we marry because we wanted our spouse to serve US? That’s not the way it’s supposed to work.
    Well, you asked to get a discussion going…maybe you got more than you wanted :-).


    1. Thanks for highlighting something I believe: “there are always two sides to a story and then there is the real story/truth”. As an ex-wife I related to the frustration of having to say the same thing over and over and over again. It was not until after I was divorced and looked back on my marriage that I acknowledged you know what? Maybe my ex felt the same way about things I might have (or not have) done in the same way. Marriage requires work, or rather it requires a dedicated sustained effort by two people who are on the same page. I am not saying our differences should be sacrificed; rather they should be recognised and built on. I truly appreciate your stopping by and sharing here. The discussion so far is great and quite thought provoking 🙂


    1. Well the challenge with that recommendation could be in truly trying to qualify the ‘right’ or ‘equal’ person. When you are courting your spouse-to-be everything looks great and you seem more equal than unequal but sometimes things can change as time goes on. What do you think?

      Liked by 1 person

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