The Truth About Judging Others


“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)


What are you fasting from for Lent? Have you even thought about it? Forty days ain’t forty hours and it’s a long long road to Easter – not so?

Well I wasn’t sure what I would do this year but here is my story. One Sunday I went to Mass. There was going to be a baptism of a baby boy. His mom was very young; his godparents were very young. The mom (and her family) had grown up in the church but it appears as though her friends had not as demonstrated by their dress and behavior. I sat in my pew and judged them. Why hadn’t they dressed more respectfully? Why was it a problem to leave your cellphone in your bag at least until the end of the service? Why was it an issue to stand when the congregation was standing or kneel when they were kneeling? Why didn’t you know any better? My face looked like thunder and I literally sweated as I tried to last out the service without losing it.  Continue reading The Truth About Judging Others

Wake, pray, slay, sigh …


The Goal: to live my life like it’s golden aka wake, pray, slay (and be awesome) all day

The Challenge: dealing with people living their lives like it’s bronze

The solution: sighing … while re-calibrating


NB: Maybe I’m the only one who can relate??? I hope not! Leave a note; let me know I’m not alone … please 🙂

Black or white: why it can matter more to parents

baby nathan


Death CANNOT be the only answer
Don’t think for a moment that because I am so far away from the action I do not feel the pain and frustration of recent events in America. Pulling revolvers and firing bullets on people is not the answer. Killing someone removes the person but how many do you have to kill to get rid of the ‘problem’ … wait a moment, what is the problem being solved here again? Do we even know? And what makes a life matter? Does it depend on whether a person’s skin is black or white, freckled or wrinkled, or something in between.

Across the sea from my little island the pervading impasse between those representing authority (the powerful) and those they have pledged to protect and serve (the powerless) is getting worse and worse. When will it end? When there are no blacks left? When all police officers have been sent on administrative leave? When those officers not on leave are murdered? How many more must be hurt? How many more must be buried? How many more families must cry? Is this merely a numbers game? If so, by what criteria are the winners identified? But wait, honestly, is all of this blood, grief and drama really necessary?

The lives of our sons matter
Tough questions to which I have no answers. So why write this post you may ask. Because although lives matter, as a parent the most important lives are those of our children. Our goal is to protect them from harm, love them with all of our hearts, and then protect them from harm some more. Living in the Caribbean racism tends to be more subtle but we would be silly to pretend it does not exist. As a parent however, I do not have to worry about my (yellow/brown-skinned aka black) son going out at night while wearing a hoodie and possibly being pulled over/subsequently shot by a police officer. Yet I am sure black parents with black sons in America must be going crazy with worry, as can be seen by these heartfelt words shared by a father who is truly fearing for the life of his son. Can you blame him? I certainly can’t. Actually I am quite proud of the way he has bravely voiced his fear by putting it in words so everyone can see exactly where he is coming from. Blogging is indeed a powerful tool!

In the meantime, let’s not scoff at those calling for more prayers for world peace, especially as it relates to racism because some kind of divine intervention is definitely needed right about now to move everyone involved to releasing hate and embracing love.

Excerpt from “Please Remember My Black Son
written by Matt Stauffer [Race, justice, and faith from a random White guy]

Chi is going to be 13. Not today, or tomorrow, or next year. But soon enough, this boy will blossom–awkwardly but beautifully–into a young man. He’s going to be tall. I’m 6’2″, and he’ll likely be close to six foot. But his skin will be darker than mine, his hair curlier. He’ll be raised knowing and loving his African-American heritage and family. What I’m saying is this: I’m a White guy from the suburbs, and my son will be a young Black man. Soon. And I’m scared to death.”  Read more

And before we go:

Do you feel that all lives matter? Well so do I because we have refugees dying to get a better life, students in Africa being abducted, ISIS taking lives all over the world, people dying as a result of famine and disease … and then there’s this article offering a difference between saying something that’s factually true (apologies for the redundancy there) vs. something that’s actually helpful to a cause aka things that make you go hmmmmmm ….

The Problem with Saying ‘All Lives Matter’
There’s a difference between “true” and “helpful.” written by Tyler Huckabee

“By continuing to use “All Lives Matter” to drown out the cry of “Black Lives Matter,” the real problems the movement is trying to address are being ignored.”
“So when you hear the words “Black Lives Matter,” don’t be so quick to assume it’s a judgement about white lives. Instead, see “Black Lives Matter” for what it is: a rallying cry to make a difference and take down the unjust status quo that holds racial equality at bay in America.”
Read the full article

About Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter is a unique contribution that goes beyond extrajudicial killings of Black people by police and vigilantes. It goes beyond the narrow nationalism that can be prevalent within some Black communities, which merely call on Black people to love Black, live Black and buy Black, keeping straight cis Black men in the front of the movement while our sisters, queer and trans and disabled folk take up roles in the background or not at all. Black Lives Matter affirms the lives of Black queer and trans folks, disabled folks,Black-undocumented folks, folks withrecords, women and all Black lives along the gender spectrum. It centers those that have been marginalized within Black liberation movements. It is a tactic to (re)build the Black liberation movement.

Let’s talk!
Is this situation something you feel strongly about? Is there racism in your community or town? As a parent are you concerned about your child/children’s safety even more now? How can we put an end to the unnecessary loss of life? Let’s talk!

#love cards, moms, DIY